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If you want to really read these blogs, start from the bottom. The top is the most recent, but the bottom is where you'll get the most depth and insight to how I write.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

You were the one I always tried to draw, Baby you're the only light I ever saw

I don't even want to write anymore, but I know it's good for me.
I need a topic, besides depression and loneliness. Pessimism helps avert troubles and hurdles, but also proves for super nostalgia and a tad too much of paranoia.

I need to do something with this writing. My writing. Any writing. I'm getting nowhere just complaining and voicing my subpar opinions of the late teenager observing the world from a monotonous suburbia. I need something to write about. I need somebody to give me something to write about, without telling me. Inspiration, give me it. I dare you.

I did develop a crazy theory on sound the other day though.
Just say you have something that weighs a million pounds. If its bottom, or base, or whatever touches the ground when it sets, is a square mile, and the object were somehow lifted up and dropped, it would be loud, would it not?
It would.

But what if that same million pound object had a base that was as tiny as the tip of a needle. It's possible to get something that massive to balance on something that small, especially in a vacuum. So if the same object had a base of a needle-head, and was dropped and the only thing that hit the ground was the needle-head, with this million pound object on top of it, how loud would it be? any sound at all? I can't see a needle-head exerting any sort of sound except for a ting or something insignificant.

nexxxxxxxxxxxt

This powerful loneliness is getting ridiculous. It's almost as if the longer I go alone, the stronger I get as a person, or mentally, but as soon as I find somebody that I can either talk with or be with or whatever it may be, I go weak. I go numb. I become a subject to my own power, and the power presses me towards the person. I either need somebody that pulls away just as fast and hard as I push towards them or somebody that can push me back harder and show me something I've never seen, or felt.
I'm eager for it either way.

maybe top this off later.

topping off:
SO it's either ROTC at mizzou, eh, become a lawyer and hate my job but make bank, eh, or continue with this computer informations bullshit and just be a drone and contributor to computers eventually running the world.
Or a Computer Lawyer in the Army :D
fucking lawyers... takin that mesothelioma money and shit.

117 comments:

  1. Learn how to cook, you may still be depressed but you wont be hungry!

    http://waterproofchicken.blogspot.com/

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  2. Stream of consciousness rants are always entertaining. :D

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  3. Hey man stop putting yourself down, its the reality u create for yourself and you can reverse it. Try and remain positive, smile even if your sad, look for things to be positive about

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  4. There is a better future ahead for you man, leave me a PM if you seriously need to talk.

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  5. I admire your courage putting such thoughts and feelings online

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  6. Great stuff, don't forget to spread the love

    http://decentmanga.blogspot.com

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  7. thats some heavy stuff man. keep your head up. maybe some weed would help? :D

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  8. I'm sure your not the only one feeling that exact same way, best thing I've been able to do to cope with moving to a new city is try and make an effort. Like someone said earlier as lame as it sounds just try your best to think positively.

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  9. This pathetic mindless bawwing must end! Get ahold of yourself, young fella, you can do much better at life!

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  10. Do a barrel roll, it makes everytihng better

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  11. What an emo. Keeping an eye on you just for lolz

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  12. A lot of people feel the way you do. I'm sure you'll get out of the slump at some point. you just have to remain positive.

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  13. a long read but interesting nevertheless

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  14. interesting!

    www.momohatesstuff.blogspot.com maybe you find clicking that interesting too?

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  15. Following. I need my see-tee-arr down as well.

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  16. Keep a smile on your face
    http://ericwichmann.blogspot.com/
    Some nice light heartedness on my page :)

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  17. Hey, don´t worry, that feeling is normal, but don´t see it that way ok?

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  18. This reminds me of myself, when I was 19 years old ._.

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  19. wow very very intersting blog. Shows who u realli are lool. good way of expressing ur thought and ideas. Looking forward to more posts from u! thx and followed :)

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  20. this makes me depressed :(

    but what helps me is blogging

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  21. just stay strong man.. there's lots of people that are still here for you. Even if we've never met you

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  22. Stay strong, realize that the WHOLE world isn't gonna bite. You'll be fine, bro! Hang in there!

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  23. Be strong man, don't let anyone get you down

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  24. interesting stuff man, you should post an update

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  25. sweet stuff. post another one like this..
    hahahahah
    (added, add me back!)

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  26. hi looking foreword to reeding more, good day sir.

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  27. keep it up! supporting..hope you do the same :D

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  28. Dude you need to find a hobby. Once you are doing something you love, even if only for a few hours a week, you will have all kinds of happy things to talk about. Good luck bro.

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  29. Just keep it going, don't stop. Don't let your thoughts and ideas become stagnant. They can become cancerous. Looking forward to reading more from you.

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  30. hi. just go out and have a walk.

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  31. somehow it makes me happy to know that there are other people who are lonely :>

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  32. I don't understand the weight thing?

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  33. write about sun shine and stuff lol rainbows ect , see if that makes a difference

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  34. Join the army dog. Itll be a great experience that youll never regret.

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  35. i know how you feel with not knowing which path to take regarding careers. its a stressful spot to be in

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  36. I think some of the things you are having trouble with can be cured by reading The Myth Of Sisyphus by Albert Camus. Look it up!

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  37. Read more books man, I know that always gets my gears turning in regards to what I want to write. Also talk radio, some of it is boring but there is some thought provoking stuff there if you can get past the fluff.

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  38. Watch the complete collection of Monty Python, will get better after!

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  39. Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin'? always cheers me up.

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  40. Watch Kiki's Delivery Service, it'll cheer you up.

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  41. great post. come follow me!

    http://spinoftheworld.blogspot.com/

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  42. Cool story broski! Sharing some love

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  43. don;t be down about life, you'll hardly manage to survive it anyways

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  44. what did u mean by holy sexy XD

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  45. Things will work out for you stop putting yourself down

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  46. aww.. sorry to hear you're depressed. :( I think a massive object balanced upon a tip the size of a needle-head would either penetrate the ground, or perhaps break if dropped, resulting in quite some noise! :) just my thoughts

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  47. Drawing is cool, beeing depressed; not so much. :(

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  48. write about violence. or pogs
    'i'm not nervous playing pogs it's uber fun.'
    -mc router.

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  49. You've got your work cut out for you, dude... well played.

    Delivered on several fronts; will be back at least once a week.

    Cheers


    GT

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  50. Dude this is cool, weird but cool!

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  51. Those thoughts got me all mixed!

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  52. yeah being a pessimist really interferes with life. i hear ya man

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  53. Interesting blog. I am also a pessimist so i can see where you are coming from.

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  54. wall of text.
    correction: wall of awesome text

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  55. Become a psychologist.

    http://eyelessbeast.blogspot.com/
    Related.

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  56. That was an interesting read at 4am lol
    Great blog!

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  57. hey man you are a talented writer, keep it up!!!

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